Breaking Stereotypes

Zoya Akhter’s Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara(ZNMD) has broken many mind-made/societal shackles we live by to show us that true happiness doesn’t come dressed in the colour of money one makes, the country we come from, or one’s so-called ‘cool’ appearance. It comes, simply from recognising and accepting the difference around us, doing away with stereotypes, and opening our hearts and lives to the richness of diversity around us.

Right from the onset, the film is a lesson in diversity and inclusiveness, which corporate India can easily leverage. The three friends on the bachelor party are poles apart… two of them don’t even have an easy equation to begin with, but they stick it through to experience life like they never have before. And therein lies one of life’s biggest success lessons.

There is also the adventure sport each protagonist plans – the rule, everyone does what is chosen, come what may. So while we have Hrithik shivering with fear as he deep-sea dives, we see Farhan biting his nails when he skydives. But the lesson is a clear one – they accept that another’s choice could be different and go ahead and try it. The result – exhilaration and pure joy. Because, sometimes the path chosen by another is not the way we see it; nevertheless, give it a fair chance and one never knows what roads open ahead!

In fact Zoya breaks stereotypes in almost all frames. Who says a pretty girl of Indian origin (Katrina), working out of London, cannot take a break of 3 months to teach deep sea-diving in a remote corner of Spain? We’ve been fed on films where the Hindi film hero is Mr Perfect but not in ZNMD where each protagonist confronts their own fears in different ways, making them real and human.

And, just when the moment of realisation happens for Hrithik (the one carrying the maximum number of pre-fixed notions of who should do what: he is judgmental, difficult, and pretty much today’s corporate high-performer), Zoya does something beautiful – for the first time in Indian cinema, Hrithik’s right hand (which everyone knows, has a 6^th digit) is used to describe the gush of emotion he feels. This, to me is big, because in Hindi cinema (and in the everyday workplaces), imperfection is a dirty word. If one is not perfect at something, they’re no good… not worth a second chance. The director breaks a huge stereotype here for cinema-goers – Hrithik finally discovers his element and revels in it… nothing could depict the moment better than him being comfortable in his own skin. What the audience experiences with him breaks the barriers that we’ve carried in our minds for so long. Suddenly, appearances don’t mean anything, the experience does!

There is ample learning throughout the film… but the biggest one I have chosen to take away is the above. Because, not a day goes through when I don’t see occurrences in the workplace where someone is not given an opportunity due to a stereotype logged in a manager’s mind. Just the other day, I heard of a lady who was denied a visit to a client location in the US, because she had had a baby six months ago and the manger didn’t think she would be willing to travel yet. She however, would have been happy to make arrangements for the 5-day visit.

Then again, how many times have expecting mothers been denied plum roles in a team, when she is soon going to be on maternity leave? Or how often are good-looking women hired for the front-office desk – or even a position on the sales team? Even at schools, I see children facing discrimination when parents cannot be excessively involved with the extra-curricular activities as the school demands – mothers of course are asked to play a larger role… do fathers even get asked to teach something extra to the children? And what does a child do if their mother has a more demanding career than the father and can’t make the time?

Walk into any 5-star property in the city and watch the difference in the doorman’s salute to those who step out of expensive cars in posh clothing, versus an inexpensively-dressed family, who might actually be carrying the money to dine in the restaurant there.

These well-recognised stereotypes are strongly conditioned indeed. While it is difficult to make the immediate change, being aware of it itself is a good start. Somewhere we will begin to check ourselves at it. Because until then, someone somewhere is losing out on opportunities, on a maximised experience, on life…because of the pre-conditioned mindsets we all carry.

The movie has managed to convince some people that they are ready to change. But the big question is, is India ready? Because, unfortunately a film, which leaves us with so much, grossed only 30% at its opening on the box office and is called a ‘flop’ where all the other films that opened with it, were ‘hits’. Has it become another victim of stereotype?